I made a very, very lengthy protected post yesterday about an issue which has been bugging me for over a year and with that post and a lot of talking to friends (lots of encouraging messages and advice from many, many people – thank you!!) I have finally come to a point where I can find closure.
“When you realise a friendship you treasured probably never existed and it’s better for you emotionally to end everything but you can’t because you naively believe people are good, people can change and that maybe you’re being stupid and your friendship is just as important to the other party.”
It’s not as easy to sum up in just those sentences but after feeling used, hating myself and having my feelings trampled all over (intentionally or not), it’s time to not stand for that nonsense any longer. Oh and y’know, realising I am better than that and deserve better.
Ahaha, my problems seem so trivial when there are real problems out there that need real solutions but in order for me to do something about said problems I need to get myself on track! This past semester has been one big trainwreck – thankfully I survived and didn’t do too terribly grades wise (my GPA did take a horrendous dip but not so bad that I would have brought dishonor to my family and my cow).
Chinese New Year has been pretty great – evaded the BF question and nobody called me fat! ACHIEVEMENTS UNLOCKED. Every year someone will tell me I am fat/need to lose weight/am too short etc and I always dreaded it. This time relatives commented I lost a bit of weight (yay!) and everyone is so confused about if I’m still studying or how long more I’ll be in Japan (or where I’m even studying) that no one has any time to comment on my seeming lack of love life (whoop! no awkward questions to make me even more awkward than I usually am).
I’M SO FABULOUS, YOU ALREADY KNOW.
I’M IN THE FAST LANE. FROM SG TO HYOGO
Jokes aside, no really, where is my knight in shining armour.
I am back in Singapore till April, and it is nice to be back, though I suffered from slight reverse culture shock the first day or so I was back. Being away in Japan really messes with me and then having to switch into ‘Singapore mode’ throws me off that my accent goes haywire. My reflexes make me say sumimasen instead of excuse me or sorry and my brain is still supplying me Japanese expressions instead of English ones. Paiseh la, the transition is a bit slow. Previously when I came back I felt so lost, like a foreigner in my own country, but with all of my issues writing about it has helped lessen the impact. (eh go and read my article okay?
shameless plug) Comments/messages and reflecting always helps me so I am very very thankful for every post, share, like etc etc for everything.
I may not be the most technical/fancy/experienced/verbose/articulate writer out there but I need it to express myself because I am a big ball of awkward failure in person that just can’t with emotional issues so I am so grateful for this avenue. I shy la.
Haha! I should blog more too, and about less depressing things!!
P.S. The other day I caught a Tailow in Omega Ruby and named it ‘Swift’. TAILOW SWIFT, get it? (I’m so proud of myself for that)
P.P.S I named the Cosplay Pikachu I received “Omi” after existtrace’s Omi who I have the hugest girl-crush on. (I also girl-crush on Kuroki Meisa)