So I’m sick. Which is horrible, I hate being sick, and I missed school because of being sick. The only consolation is that there are only 3 classes today that I’m missing.
Some how I feel weird blogging such mundane things on this wordpress which isn’t supposed to be so mundane. So yes, I am sick, I have done nothing productive all day but play Pokemon + Nobunaga’s Ambition (which is a BRILLIANT game).
Alright, time to deviate to a less mundane topic.
This is how I feel nearly everyday. Sure, I’ve been making friends here and having fun but we’re nowhere as close as my lovelies in Singapore. Sometimes I think it’s the cultural differences (and perhaps the lack of the wonderful thing called Singlish) that create an imaginary barrier. I feel like there’s always one there so I almost always never feel ok with being my random self. Well, it’s only been slightly over a month. I’ve got four years here, long way to go.
On another related #foreveralone topic, somehow or other, it seems that a lot of the people around me have boyfriend/other half troubles or some sort of romantic life while I don’t. Be it someone trying to woo them, an actual boyfriend, potential boyfriends… more exes and stuff… which never happens to me? (Technically not never but, yeah, pretty much never)
I do suppose it is a better thing to wait rather than to throw yourself head first into fling after fling; better to be happy than to be unhappy even while supposed to be happy. Meh. Anyway, as a foreigner, somehow I always feel discrimination even in the smallest of ways. The people at school don’t bother handing me flyers for clubs or school events. They pretty much ignore me and pass it to the Japanese person right behind/next to me. I didn’t think much of it as first since handing out flyers is a pretty random job itself (oh gawd, reminded of random sampling distribution and how it is biased)…. okay, I now cannot say it is random because random means there is a fair chance/the probability of getting a flyer is supposed to be the same for everyone.
Yeah, and sometimes I find it’s easier to fit in when you’re Japanese? (Or at least really pretty, petite and “ideal”)
On the other hand, I have a goal in life. Well, not in life per se, but in school. I kind of have this dream of wanting to do well/see my name on the honor list/roll. Then I can feel mecha proud of myself and giggle my way home like a maniac and do silly facial expressions in the mirror and giggle somemore. I’ve never been the top in Singapore so it’ll be a nice feeling to be somewhere close to it, huh. Lol. But I’m way too lazy. At least I keep up with my readings, though.
Silly facial expressions like these:
and finally, this: